After College

Today is 1st May. Its the day of the year that everyone at college both dreads and waits for. Its the day our semester exams start, which means its the end of another semester. Unlike the first semester of the year, this second one lasts only four months, followed by two months of vacation time.

This year is different from the others. Its my last year in college, and boy am I glad its getting over! The last four years have been something of a roller-coaster ride. It wasn’t nearly what I imagined it would be going in. I was expecting to get to know and be friends with a large number of people, learning about the world, and hopefully finding a place I’d fit in. I was so excited to be starting a new chapter of my life.

At the end of these four years, I can say that college life is more than a bit overrated (at least in India). Here are some reasons why:

  1. You know how in movies there are these groups of people who keep to themselves, being together all the time, not interacting with the rest of the world because they don’t want to/aren’t comfortable doing it? That is the truest thing about college. There are more groups like that than you can count. I was surprised to see that so many people just stuck to the friends they already knew, maybe from school, or their neighborhood. I only thought things like that happen with people who go settle in a new country, and have a difficult time fitting in with the rest of the students. Its really sad that so many people miss out on learning about others just because they are too comfortable with the people they are with already – IN THEIR OWN COUNTRY. You don’t have to be my friend. You don’t even have to like me. But you do need to give me a chance at being your friend.
  2. I was going through a really tough time nearing the end of second year (mid-college-life crisis?). There was this one guy I liked who subjected me to emotional abuse, and I repeatedly went after him, regardless. I don’t know why I did, but eventually I understood that he wasn’t adding any value to my life, so I did my best to remove him from it. Unfortunately we shared many of the same friends – truthfully, I just tried befriending them because they were his friends in the first place. I wasn’t very open about what I had been through, and not many of my ‘friends’ knew that anything had happened at all. After the final fall-out, I noticed that fewer and fewer people talked to me, eventually avoiding me altogether leaving me with maybe a handful of people I could trust. This was when I figured out who my real friends were, and they are still with me to this day.
  3. I had really hoped to find this perfect sort of guy I’d made up in my head. I’ve had crushes throughout my entire college life, and had a few almost-relationships that I got out of before they got serious. Nothing clicked, and no one matched my expectations, especially the people I was seeing. So this is a lesson for all you young 17-year-olds joining college next year – Don’t go there with the hope of finding love. There are tons of movies drilling this kind of thought into our heads. Yes, it’s true that some people do find the love of their life at college. SOME PEOPLE. Not all. Its a very small chance for anybody. Try not to get your hopes up.
  4. When you think about experiencing life, what do you think? Getting to meet different people, talk to them, traveling to new places, checking out new environments, stuff like that? I don’t know about you, but that pretty much sums up experiencing life for me. Of course, you know, its college, and you stay on campus just like everyone else, and hang out with people till 6 in the morning, your parents aren’t around to tell you to go to sleep, or do anything for that matter. That is something that college has let me experience. The traveling to new places bit didn’t happen, except for one trip in second year, which didn’t really add up to anything. I did meet tons of new people, but surprisingly, they lacked individuality, and again, thought their group was bigger than themselves. It’s really sad. But through this, I did learn to find my own individuality, and figured out what made me me.

I’m sure there are tons of things I didn’t cover in this post. Also, there are so many positive experiences in college life, but these are some things that people don’t know/think about when they join college. I would love to help out someone who’s having a tough time with it, if I can. All the best!

Yours To Keep – Written For The Departing Souls

I was vexed in my own thoughts
Felt like I’d dealt with lots
Didn’t keep an open mind
And led myself to be blind

Then this extraordinary event
Changed just what life meant
To me in these past years
(I loath the time that nears!)

It wasn’t that long ago
When I didn’t even know
What your name even was
Utterly ridiculous!

Though ashamed I must admit
That your faces didn’t click
To my useless memory bank
To this thought my heart sank

I cannot believe it still
That I did not see until
Fate gave me that one chance
I was caught in your trance –

I met you that fateful day
And the truth I must say
That prior to this event
I didn’t know what life meant

We had a friendly chat
Who would have known that that
Would change our lives forever
What a great endeavor!

That day is all I need
To forever remain freed
Of this lowly, sad world
As it’s always grimly twirled

That day was an unseen start
To something fine that set apart
Your face from all the rest
For this I’m greatly blessed

I thank you most of all
It has been such a ball
To know that you and me
Will in touch evermore be

It is mostly because of you
That everything I thought I knew
Has now clearly been confirmed
So transparently termed!

It’s just that all I had
Till that day was a sad
Reminder of everything adverse
Now time has been reversed!

I now have more clarity
On what life should be
You have entered with a “BANG!”
To this my spirit sang

I cannot express the glee
Of every single time I see
You when I walk the street
Or politely exchange a greet

All the little times count
And build to a huge amount
I’ve been Renewed and Inspired
Of this I’ll never grow tired

What of life when you are gone?
Far as I know, there’s not one
Who can fill the vast abyss
These days I’ll surely miss!

You changed the way I think
In what seems to be a blink
I owe you so much more
Than this lousy boring lore

So short a time it’s been
I’ve been saved from the sin
Of going through life without
Knowing you were about!

In these recent years of gloom
There was this untouched room
That lay within my heart
A distinctly empty part

I want you to eternally know
That where ever you may go
This space is yours to keep
This space is yours to keep